


What if it was me

by Icequeen208



Category: Batgirl - Fandom, Nightwing - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-20
Updated: 2019-08-20
Packaged: 2020-09-19 07:55:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20327701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Icequeen208/pseuds/Icequeen208
Summary: Dick and Barbara play a game and everything is fun until Dick lets Barbara in on a secret





	What if it was me

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve been thinking of writing this for a while and I wanted to show Barbra’s reaction to this. Enjoy

So what are we watching on Netflix this time?” Dick asked. Barbara was in the kitchen grabbing some snacks. 

“Well, I was thinking we could just sit and talk. She replied walking out with chips and sodas. 

“Oh okay. Dick said. “Anything specific you wanna talk about?”

She sat down close beside him. “Hmm, Lets ask each other questions and we have to give an honest answer. No matter what.” She said 

“Ok. This could be either fun or terrifying.” Dick laughed. 

Almost an hour had passed and they both had been laughing and talking like they always use to do. Just being the best friends they were. That is until a certain topic came up that caused the laughter to die down. 

“So here’s my next question.” Barbara said. “And remember, you have to give me an honest answer.” 

Dick smiled. There was nothing he felt he needed to hide from her. She always saw through him anyways. He loved how she knew him so well. 

“Okay, Shoot.” He said

Barbara hesitated for a second as if she was afraid to ask. She toke a deep breath. She wasn’t sure if she really wanted to know or if he would get offended that she was even asking him.

“Have you ever cheated on me?” 

Dick looked up at her as if he had been slapped. “Babs, where is this coming from?” He asked suddenly feeling nervous. 

“I was just thinking. When I was trapped in a wheel chair, I felt really insecure and you were always bringing up the good old days and showing off how energetic you were and I just...I don’t know Dick. I was feeling crappy and I thought you wanted something better. Someone better.” She said feeling a little guilty. 

“Hey babs, don’t ever think I would ever want anyone else when I have you.” Dick replied, reaching up to brush a stray hair out of her eye.

“I know you wouldn’t do it to be a jerk but I know things haven’t always been good between us. We’ve had our moments and God knows we’ve argued over stupid things that didn’t really matter. I wouldn’t blame you. I mean, I know what a bitch I can be sometimes.” She said

Dick sighed. “Look, I know things haven’t always been perfect with us but there was never a time when I wanted someone else. It was always you.” 

“But did you ever want to? I mean, it’s ok. I would have been furious at the time but now I understand.” She said, secretly hoping his answer would be no. 

“No, of course not.” Dick said.

“Well, I know you’ve had plenty of women throwing themselves at you. “

“Yeah that’s what I get for looking this good.” He joked 

Barbara laughed but Dick was suddenly taken back to a time and place where a certain woman had indeed thrown herself at him. In fact she did more then that. Should he tell Barbara? She never knew the truth. She had known about Catalina Flores but she never knew the truth. He decided to tell her. He had many sleepless nights and plenty of flashbacks but being with Barbara again after so long made him feel at ease. He could almost forget any sort of traumatic event. 

“Hey babs. Hun, we should talk. I need to let you in on something.” He said 

She looked at him. A serious expression was displayed on his face and she wondered what he had to say. Was he hiding something?

“What is it? She asked 

“Remember a few years back when I was working with a woman by the name of Catalina Flores?” 

Barbara nodded, remembering the name. Something about that name made her want to cringe. She didn’t know why. Unless...

Dick continued. “Well, she had a thing for me and I can’t say nothing happened between us.” 

Dick watched Barbara closely. She opened her mouth as if to say something but wasn’t sure what she would say. Why would he say he never cheated if that wasn’t true? 

“What are you saying?” She asked

Dick ran a hand through his hair and tried to think of a way to say it. A way that would make her understand. He had never wanted to cheat on her. If this crazy woman hadn’t forced herself into his life ,among other things, things between him and Barbara wouldn’t have been as messed up and complicated. 

“Like I said, she had a thing for me. We were tracking down block buster and when we found him things got ugly. Catalina basically just shot him dead right in front of me and I didn’t do anything to stop it. I felt so guilty. I felt like a failure.” Dick said. Barbara already knew this by now. She didn’t know why he felt the need to tell her this. 

“Yes I know this, Dick. What does her killing block buster have to do with anything?” 

“It’s not about her killing block buster. It’s what happened after that.” He said and decided to continue

“It was raining and cold and I had ran up to the roof to get some air and recuperate but she followed me and I guess in her sick way she was trying to comfort me. All I know is that what she did made me feel disgusting and worthless.” He pauses for a few seconds and toke a deep breath. She could tell he was nervous but she didn’t say anything. 

When he finally found the right words he continued. “She forced herself on me. I don’t know why but before I knew it, she had my uniform off and was on top of me. I protested but she ignored me. I couldn’t stop her Barbara. God I tried but I couldn’t.” He looked up at her and met her eyes. She stared back with disbelief. Did she not believe him? Was she angry with him? He didn’t know if he could handle it if she was. 

“She forced herself on you?” Was her only response 

“Yeah but I was at a very weak moment. I was messed up in all sorts of ways. I was exhausted and emotionally unstable. She saw what state I was in and toke advantage of me. I wish I could have stopped her. I wish things would have turned out differently. I wasn’t attracted to her at all but she wouldn’t leave me alone. She even followed me back to Gotham when Bruce asked me to come help with a case.” 

Barbara thought back to that time. She remembered thinking that he had a thing with that Catalina woman. She had honestly thought that he would go for someone like her. Just because she felt so insecure. She thought he wanted someone who could do all the things she couldn’t do. She didn’t feel worthy of him. How could she think that he would want someone else? 

“Oh my god,” she breathed 

“Barbara, I’m so sorry. I wanted to tell you a long time ago.”

She looked at him. “No Dick, you have nothing to be sorry for. I’m the one who should be sorry. I was so selfish. I let myself get carried away with stupid ideas just because I was feeling insecure and unworthy of you. I knew you wouldn’t betray me but I couldn’t help but think you wanted someone better then me. I should have known. I should have talked to you. I shouldn’t have let you go through that alone.” She said. He could hear the sadness in her voice. She knew he was being honest. There’s no way he would lie about something like that. She also knew he had had night terrors and she noticed that certain things triggered flashbacks but she had never thought something like this would have happened. 

“Hey baby, you didn’t know.” He said reaching up to caress her check. “I never told anyone. I just kept it to myself until now.” 

Barbara was then brought back to a time when they had began to make love but when she straddled him he froze and after a few seconds had pushed her off, nearly making her fall off the bed. She was confused at the moment and all he said was that he was tired and just needed to sleep. That didn’t make sense to her then but now it made perfect sense. She hated herself for not seeing it sooner. For not trying to talk to him. For just letting it go. 

“How could I be so damn selfish. I should have been there for you. I should have known something wasn’t right the night you pushed me off of you when we were about to make love and you told me you were just tired. I didn’t want to push you to talk but I should have known something was wrong.” She said. 

Tears were starting to fall at this point. She could no longer hold it in. She put her hand over her mouth and began sobbing. Dick wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. He hated that she blamed herself. Had she known what had happened between him and Catalina and had blamed him for it, that would have been a different story. He knew though that she would never blame him for anything that wasn’t actually his fault. Especially something as traumatic as this. 

“Shhh, it’s ok. I promise. Please don’t be upset. It’s not your fault. There’s no way you could have known.” Dick tried to comfort her but she still cried. 

After a long while, she pulled back and he wiped her tears away with his thumb. “It was a long time ago baby. I hardly ever think about it anymore. Why would I think about a terrible experience that happened to me when I have you. You’re the best thing that’s happened to me and that will always top anything bad.” He said, pushing her hair behind her ear.

“You don’t get it. I love you so much, I can’t stand to think about someone hurting you in any way. No one deserves that. What she did was wrong and unforgivable. If I ever come across her, I can’t promise she will still be breathing. If she is then she’s the one who’ll be in a wheelchair for the rest of her life. She’ll also need a feeding tube after I’m done with her.” Barbara said. 

This woman was a fire cracker and Dick loved it. She was so protective of the ones she loved and he admired her love for others. Barbara Gordon was one amazing woman. The love of Dick Grayson’s life.

She sniffled. “Do you know where she is now?” 

“She’s in prison. That’s all I know.” Dick replied. 

Barbara didn’t look satisfied but nodded. She wouldn’t get to extract her revenge against the woman who had hurt the man she loved but at least she now knew the truth. 

“She should have to pay for what she did to you. She’s in prison for other crimes but not for what she did to you. She should have to answer to that.” Barbara said with a far away look in her eyes. 

It’s too late to worry about that now babe.” Dick replied. He could sense how she felt but at this point what was there to do about it?

“It’s late. We should get in bed.” Dick said taking her hand. She let him lead her to their shared bedroom and after they were all snuggled in bed, Barbara laid her head on Dick’s chest. 

“Hey Dick?” She said 

“Yeah?” 

“What if it was me?” The question made him turn his head to look at her. He could make out her features in the dark.

“What?” He asked.

“I mean, what if that happened to me? How would you feel?” She asked 

Silence filled the room for a while until Dick spoke.

“I don’t know. I haven’t ever thought about it. I hate to think of anything like that happening to you.” He replied 

“But how would it make you feel? Weather you know about it when it happened or weather you find out later?” 

Dick closed his eyes for a brief moment before replying. “I would be furious at the person who hurt you for one thing” 

“See?” She said. “I think being angry is Justifiable.”

“Yeah but it would probably break me to see you go through that. He replied 

She nodded and closed her eyes. Relaxing in his arms.

“I love you Grayson.”

“I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> I was thinking of doing another chapter where other family members find out. Let me know what you think?


End file.
